So it looks like this is turning into a great opportunity for my career. Thanks bryan, andrew, jarrett, lillian, and you.

Of hearts and scars...

sometimes the best way to connect is to disconnect from everything else. i think you knew i was watching you sleep, wishing to save that memory forever, but my memory isn't what it used to be. a beautiful girl can make you dizzy, like you've been drinking jack and cokes all morning.
i watched the tape last night over and over again until the batteries ran out of juice. i'm pretty sure i caught a glimpse of your heart.
i fought off the void, that cold feeling of despair, talked it out fought it out in the ring inside my head

the ring
how long can i wait? i guess we'll see.

october never seemed so far away, but the summer never ends when you're around.

handicapped parking never seemed so appealing.

i can still see the mark you left over my heart, feel it underneath my clothes.

"A beautiful girl can make you dizzy..."

Dear S.G.M@Gmail.com,
Thank you.

Love,

J

Today i've scored a small victory. I threw several small fits and tantrums, but overall, chalk up a w for team josh! Now for day 2

Zero Days

I feel like I'm one of those trailer-parks in Florida with a sign out front that says:

It has been:
0
Days since our last disaster.

I'm working on putting a whole week together.

I'm back

I'm still mopey, I'm still Emo (just for you) and I'm still a wreck.  But at least now I can write about it.

Sometimes I get mad
But life and love are to learn
I am still learning

Sometimes we don't speak
The same language or listen
My heart hears you best

Hello New Year

Hello,
It's been a while since I've written anything. I want this year to go like this:

• I want to be a real man, the way my Dad is a real man. Right now I'm not sure I am.
  
• I want to tell those around me that I love them
• But I want to show them more
• I wish I were a better person, but I don't know how
• I want to get out from under my own crushing self
• I want to feel adequate in lots of things
• I want you to feel special and wonderful and unique and everything I've ever dreamed of wanting, because you are. I just want to figure out how to show it all the time.

That's all. Over and out.

PS. Sorry I'm such a jerk, it seems I can't help it.

Dear Christmas,
I forgot to add the list of things I'm in love with right now.

* Navel Oranges
* My Family
* Holiday Travel
* All the Stephanie's of the world and all the Ray's that come with that.
* Coupons
* My shopping excursions with The Butcher.
* Never sleeping again before my parents house.
* Yule Shoot Your Eye Out (The best emo christmas song ever)

Thats all for now but I'm sure I'm leaving someone out.

Don't worry, I'm in love with you. Hell, you're my lobster.

Dear christmas, i love you. Love, josh.

Minnesota

So, no one seems to call me when I'm at home, relaxing and being bored by myself on the weekends, but as soon as I make plans to go out of town, it seems everyone calls me and wants to hang out.  Oh well, at least they call at all.  It could be worse, I could have no friends at all.  
Right now I don't have Internet access at my apartment, so I've really been slow about adding recent photos of me and my friends.  The photos that you can look forward to:

• Pennsylvania
• Random clubs and bars
• Halloween (Super-creepy Josh)
• Minnesota (Super-cute Stef)

Which brings me to my current happenings.  Right now, having served my civic duty to render a verdict in a jury trial, I am in Minnesota.  I got a really cheap ticket on Travelocity and I've been here since Thursday!  So all in all, the end of Three Wishes has been very productive.  That's all for now.  I'll check back in soon.

Thanksgiving is so soon, and I have so much to be thankful for. 

Hearts and Scars,

Josh